Las Vegas Entertainment Blogs

Real Stories of the Most Unreal City on Earth… A Real Las Vegas Blog.

Guest Column: Nick the Ex-Cabbie – “Downtown Detective Story”

Adult Entertainment, Guest Columnists, Las Vegas, Las Vegas Entertainment, Nick the Cabbie, Nightlife, Sin City, Stories, Vices
Posted February 18th, 2010 by Nick the Cabbie - 9 comments

I can hear John Waters on the television in the next room and it seems like a really interesting show…something I’d really like to watch. Unfortunately, right now I’m crouched on the floor of the restroom with my new porcelain friend. How did I end up in this situation? Perhaps I should reexamine my evening and use my detective skills to figure it out.

We start out with a drink at the Griffin. The bartendress pours me an entire shot when I ask to sample “just a tiny bit” of the unusual vodka that I’ve never seen before. This becomes my second drink and we have one more round before leaving. I don’t know if the shot ended up on the tab, but I know it puts me one drink ahead of everyone else in the group. Extra shot, ftw!

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Guest Column: Nick the Cabbie – “Pink and Purple”

Guest Columnists, Hot Topics, Las Vegas, Nick the Cabbie, Nightlife, Sin City, Stories, Taxicab Confessions
Posted December 8th, 2009 by Nick the Cabbie - 2 comments

The two girls in the back seat are dressed almost identically with short little skirts and hats…except one of them is predominantly purple and the other is the Sheriff of Pinktown. And, in case you weren’t aware, things are not okay in Pinktown. There must have been a jailbreak or something, but I think she’d be crying if her Deputy had been killed. Maybe it’s only cattle rustlers…or maybe she’s cold and heartless. It’s difficult to tell sometimes. (They don’t give me enough information to work with so I’m purely speculating, of course. I’m sure you understand.)

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Guest Column: Nick the Cabbie – “Step on it.”

Guest Columnists, Hotels, Las Vegas, Nick the Cabbie, Stories, Taxicab Confessions
Posted November 25th, 2009 by Nick the Cabbie - 1 comment

police-comfortInstead of getting in my cab, this guy walks around to my window and says, “Can you get me to the airport in ten minutes?”

I quickly consider a multitude of factors like

(A) where I am,1

(B) which route I will take,2

(C) how long it normally takes from here,3

(D) what day it is,4

(E) what time it is,5

(F) how much traffic will there be,6

(G) how much I want this ride,7

(H) what I need to say to get it,8

(I) what will happen if I take longer than ten minutes,9

(J) how big my tip will be if I miraculously get him there in time,10

(K) what are the most important details of this story that I may forget to mention,11 and

(L) which trenchant author I will need to rip off when I finally write this down.12

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Guest Column: Nick the Cabbie – “A is for Africa”

Guest Columnists, Las Vegas, Nick the Cabbie, Nightlife, Sin City, Stories, Taxicab Confessions, Vices
Posted August 6th, 2009 by Nick the Cabbie - Add comment

The five girls that are about to get into my taxi don’t look like part of a bachelorette group (mainly because I don’t see any penis-shaped accessories), but they give off that bachelorette vibe. And they’re certainly loud enough. I immediately put my guard up. Many people don’t realize this, but, much like other wild creatures that you don’t want to encounter in large numbers, packs of girls in Las Vegas are dangerous. Like wolves and piranha…or Africanized bees.

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