Guest Column: Nick the Cabbie – “Taxicab Confessions”
The night is still young, even if I were to judge by another city’s standards, but the guy being placed into my taxi must have started drinking at some point before noon. The girl mothering him is, surprisingly, not his mother… they seem to be about the same age. She tells me to take them to the Palms and almost immediately notices the camera attached to the windshield. I explain that the camera footage is only reviewed when something happens, but I get the feeling that most people don’t believe me when I say this. Most people probably also don’t realize that, on any given day, there are thousands of taxicabs on the roads in Las Vegas and that the cars only stop running long enough for the next driver to start a shift. Reviewing twenty-four hours of footage from that many cameras is a task that would probably require the resources of someone like Bruce Wayne.
When I ask if they plan on attending one of the clubs in the casino I find out that they are going back to their hotel for the evening. The girl seems a little self-conscious about this admission and says, “We’re the lamest married couple.” When the guy hears this he counters with, “Hey… we bone.” At this point there may have been a tiny gasp from the girl, but I’ll really never know for sure. The shock and embarrassment from her, however, is palpable and I barely hear a quiet “sssshhh.” The sound may have been too indistinct for drunk ears because the guy leans over the seats, getting as close to the camera as he can, pumps both fists in the air and yells, “Whoo! Taxicab confessions!! We bone.”
The girl is no longer concerned with being quiet this time and the next “sSSSSHHHH!” can probably be detected in nearby cars. The guy doesn’t seem to understand why she wouldn’t want millions of television viewers knowing intimate details about their personal life and asks, “What?” and then matter-of-factly adds, “We bone.” I can’t see or hear the response to this, but I imagine that the guy begins to wonder if he has somehow messed up when he whispers, “We do, right?”
Three minutes later they both exit the cab in good spirits and I’m about ninety-seven point five percent sure they are gonna bone.
Categories
- Adult Entertainment
- Blogs, Blogging, and Podcasts
- Bree the Bartender
- Casinos and Gambling
- Conventions
- Coupons
- Day Trips
- Guest Columnists
- Hot Topics
- Hotels
- Las Vegas
- Las Vegas Entertainment
- Las Vegas Video Podcasts
- Neighboring Cities
- Nevada
- Nick the Cabbie
- Nightlife
- Outdoors and Other Interests
- Political and Social Awareness
- Restaurants
- Shows and Entertainment
- Sin City
- Special Events
- Sports and Health
- Stories
- Summer the Stripper
- Taxicab Confessions
- The Famous and the Infamous
- Vices
- Weather
- Wine